I am the sun.  I am the moon..  I am the proof.  I am the pudding.  I am the cow who said no to repeated offers of fame and fortune.  I am the boy who cried flow, the anti-Trump.  I am the Monogehela, the Ohio, the Susquehanna.  I am the Playbill, the duckbill, the handbill, the handball, the baseball, the basepath, the freebase, the Freejack, the aging rock star attempting to hang on to a shred of a career by trying my hand at acting in a lame movie and causing people to wish that I lived in Iran so that that hand I used to try acting would be cut off.  I am the parallel processor.  I am the Partridge, Adams, Brady, Manson, Kennedy, and Royal Family.  I am the Fountainhead, the Figurehead, the Potatoe Head.  I am the Switch Thrower for the World, the Fuze Tester, the Maker of Routes, Player with the Railroads and Advance Chopper to the System.  I am the fractal, the fracture, the picture, the tincture, the tisket, the tasket, the green and yellow basket.  I am the datum, the stadia, the criterion, the pluribus from whence unum.  I am the sacrament of the testament of the pestilence of the firmament.  I am the one true muppet baby.  I am the Argand Plane.  I am the joker, the smoker, the midnight Bram Stoker.  I am the carnivore, the herbivore, the semaphore, the sliding door.  I am the potahtoe yet the tomaytoe.  I am the fountain pehn yet the fountain pehncil.  I am the Captains Crunch, Courageous, Kangaroo, Caveman, Cook, Picard, and Nemo.  I am the sturgeon, the surgeon, the bludgeon, the curmudgeon.  I am the palindromic man who insists on tuna over various other forms of delectable yet slightly more expensive marine meals.  I am the fastidious gallavanter who, against all odds, secured a bid for lovely and talented Tacoma, Washington as host for the 2003 Spring Olympics.  I am the clorox, the axe, the fax, the snax and trax and ampersand.  I am the sugar-coated Vorticon Gum Drops ever popular on the Travelers Rest of Bonufus Seven and its surrounding areas.  I am the Bhagwan.  I am the Bhagwan.  I am the Bhagwan.  I am the Bhagwan.  I am the prowess, the laccolith, the Cape Verdean escudo, the auspex, the sphygmomanometer, the ultimate frisbee, the quiche Lorraine, the mystagogue, the Spaghetti-O, the ectomorph, the schlemiel, the schemazel, the hasenpfeff incorporated, the man named Brady, his daughter Judy, the pelican, the J E L L O, the dinoflagellate, the feldspar, the throwfar, the dogcar, the Ishtar, the spillmar, the polynomial, the testimonial, the post-exilio, the germ, the berm, the Australian tern, the egg-salad demon with no motivation save that of turning the world into her own twisted little warpo world! I am still the Bhagwan.